Opening & Technical Issues

• Show starts 2 minutes late, Ethan apologizes for tardiness
• Ela in bathroom, crew ready to start without her
• 53 degrees, sunny Friday March 4th
• Sponsored by Mint Mobile and The Boys: Diabolical
• Planning to see Batman movie tonight, excited for theater experience after 2+ years

Sean's Visit & Old Friend Introduction

• Sean (Ethan's oldest friend) visiting, known each other since elementary school
• Went to elementary, middle, high school, UC Santa Cruz, and lived in Israel together
• Reminiscing about low-budget costume days in Israel, fishing through garbage
• Sean sitting in for the episode

Joy Behar Fall Incident

• Joy Behar from The View falls during show
• 79 years old, tumbles off chair during live broadcast
• Frame-by-frame analysis of the fall
• Ethan jokes about internal bleeding at that age
• Additional falls shown: Clippers reporter slips on water after game

Australian Spider-Man Accordion Fall

• Video of street performer in Spider-Man costume falling while playing accordion
• Falls into wall but continues playing accordion while writhing in pain
• Accordion makes noise as he moves, creating comedic effect
• Compared to Turkish firefighters video

Elden Ring Gaming Content

• Ethan obsessed with Elden Ring, playing during work
• Crew interrupts his gaming for podcast
• Shows off his shield build with talisman that stuns enemies
• Installed second TV in basement so Ethan and Hila can hang out while gaming
• Hila watches Salt Lake City housewives while Ethan plays

Housewives Discussion

• Detailed discussion of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City
• Ethan and Hila obsessed with the show, calling it the best housewives series
• Cast includes ex-Mormons, provides insight into Mormon culture
• Mary Cosby married her step-grandfather to inherit church and wealth
• One cast member arrested by FBI for tax fraud during filming
• Cast members suspect each other of being informants
• Poll conducted for which housewives series to watch next: New York vs Atlanta tied
• Brief mention of Miami housewives and Potomac

White Claw Gabe Check-in

• Gabe calls in from golf course, calls himself "the king"
• New phrase pitching session:
  • "Nothing fucks"
  • "All-wheel drive baby"
  • "Plow me like the snow"
  • "Curdle my milk daddy"
  • "Ouchy ouchy baby I'm on fire"
  • "Blow out my back baby"
  • "Juggle these nuts"
  • "I shit on my own floor"
• Gabe makes all phrases work with his delivery
• Plans for fried chicken Friday dinner

Amaranth Fart Jars

• Amaranth (hot tub streamer) now selling fart jars for $1000
• Ethan claims this was his idea from previous episodes
• Jars include real hair, are autographed and numbered 1-1000
• Made exclusively to order with "cutie patooties" branding
• Also sells hot tub water
• Comparison to Stephanie Matto from 90 Day Fiance who made $100,000 selling farts
• Stephanie hospitalized from eating too many gas-inducing foods
• She put rose petals and personal notes in jars
• Now sells NFT fart jars since she can't physically produce them
• Brief mention of Farrah Abraham allegedly selling poop (turned out to be joke/troll)

Ben Shapiro Kurt Cobain Analogy

• Ben Shapiro makes disturbing analogy comparing Joe Biden to Kurt Cobain
• Says Biden "put a shotgun in the mouth of the American body politic and pulled the trigger"
• Criticized for inappropriate suicide reference and inaccurate comparison
• Ethan calls out the poor taste and logic of the analogy

Rolo Tomassi Red Pill Fail

• Discussion of red pill advocate Rolo Tomassi's embarrassing Twitter fail
• Posted about sculpture being example of male craftsmanship
• Revealed sculptor was actually a Chinese woman
• Became legendary internet L, shows assumptions in red pill ideology
• Fan created parody song about "our Rolo Tony" but can't show due to copyright

Biggest Fears Segment

Sean

• Debt (clarifies not death)
• Medical debt specifically - fear of bankruptcy from healthcare costs
• Snakes - almost stepped on copperhead in backyard
• Copperheads have hemotoxic venom, rarely fatal but painful
• Young snakes more dangerous as they can't regulate venom

Ian

• Spiders and spider nightmares
• Hurting himself while sleepwalking
• History of severe sleepwalking requiring restraints
• Now spits during sleep episodes, thinking he has nails/thumbtacks in throat
• Previously punched hole in wall during nightmare, scared Sam
• Used to have violent episodes but now just spitting
• Sam confirms it's much better than previous violent episodes

Zach

• Birds - phobia since childhood
• Couldn't enter bird sanctuary as child
• Specifically fears birds landing on his head
• Can't go to places with pigeons or crows
• Doesn't mind non-flying birds like penguins or flamingos
• Relates to occupational therapy as child for motor skills
• Would consider letting bird on head for a Rolex

AB

• His religious aunt who terrorized him and cousins about hell
• Aunt told 8-year-old AB his parents were going to hell for not praying 5 times daily
• Gave him psychological ticks as child
• Aunt is cousin Tim's mother
• Stories of aunt arguing with Jehovah's Witnesses
• Cousins would pretend to be bad kids to annoy her
• Ethan wants to have aunt call in to convert him

Dan

• Cosmological disasters - gamma ray bursts, supernovas
• False vacuum decay theory
• Fear of complete helplessness against cosmic events
• Existential dread about universe's size and Earth's insignificance
• Keeps him awake at night thinking about unpreventable extinction events
• Asteroids no longer a concern - all extinction-level ones have been mapped

Hila

• Cancer, especially after father's diagnosis
• Traumatizing experience with father's illness
• Feeling of helplessness when nothing works
• Currently has lump in neck, waiting for doctor appointment
• Likely benign like previous experience

Ethan

• Dying alone - family dying and leaving him
• Anything happening to Theodore would devastate him
• Couldn't imagine going on without son
• Also fears for Hila and Bruce
• Specific fear of huge waves/tsunamis
• Recurring nightmares of 100-foot waves
• Almost drowned in Santa Cruz due to powerful waves and current
• Swam too far out with Hila, took 2 hours to get back

Elton John Merchandise Success

• Elton John's team called their collaboration "the best Elton John merchandise ever"
• Ethan invites Sir Elton John on the show

Keemstar Mom's Basement Ends

• Keemstar and FaZe Banks recorded final episode of Mom's Basement podcast
• Speculation that Spotify didn't renew due to low numbers
• Keemstar fighting with people on H3 subreddit
• Discussion of Keemstar's Chuck E. Cheese reference (EDP callback)

Batman Movie Discussion

• Crew excited for Batman movie tonight
• Debate over best Batman actors - Christian Bale consensus winner
• Ethan argues Batman is best superhero because he's realistic (no powers)
• Criticism of Marvel characters like Hawkeye for being powerless on super-teams
• Comparison between Batman and Iron Man as similar billionaire heroes
• Discussion of Batman's likely Republican politics and trust fund background
• Animated Batman series from childhood praised
• Brief mention of various Batman actors (Keaton, Kilmer, Clooney)

Teddy Fresh Job Posting

• Desperately seeking fashion and graphic designers
• Must have professional experience and portfolio
• Will consider candidates worldwide, even helping with visas
• Jobs@teddyfresh.com for applications
• Ethan warns against applications without proper experience/portfolio

Sponsors

• Mint Mobile: $15/month wireless plans, mintmobile.com/afterdark
• The Boys: Diabolical: Animated anthology series on Amazon Prime, features various animation styles and star-studded voice cast