Introduction and Setup

• KSI introduces Sidemen Speed Dating video
• Format: 3 minutes each with 3 different girls
• 7 Sidemen members participating: Harry, Simon, Josh, Ethan, Tobi, JJ, Vick
• Discount code mentioned: "Speed"
• Girls will rate favorite/worst dates at end
• Other members react from sidelines while one dates

First Girl - Paige (Dancer)

Harry's Date

• Very nervous, hadn't been on date in 5 years
• Used conversation cards with sexual questions
• Topics: role-play, eating ass, invisibility (rob bank)
• Harry did "the worm" dance move, Paige did "slut drop"
• Discussed dance (Paige's profession), Lord of Dance YouTube
• Harry mentioned competing in dance at ages 6-7
• Awkward moments, Harry seemed uncomfortable

Simon's Date

• Asked about arrest assumptions - Paige: drunk mess, Simon: road rage
• Discussed driving pet peeves, politeness
• Sexual questions from cards: bondage (fluffy handcuffs), fantasies
• Simon struggled with jokes, moved through cards quickly
• Asked about drugs - both denied regular use
• Gender swap question: Simon said he'd masturbate first thing

Josh's Date

• Connected over dance knowledge - discussed Galen Hooks, Paris Gabriel
• Josh mentioned childhood dance lessons and competitions
• Good conversation flow about dance and YouTube channels
• More natural conversation without relying heavily on cards

Ethan's Date

• Invisibility question: both said rob bank
• Discussed worst non-illegal thing: cheating vs lying
• Ethan mentioned 9-year relationship, felt out of practice dating
• Toe infection topic came up awkwardly
• Ethan got 8/10 rating, celebrated loudly
• Discussed yoga, mentioned goat yoga concept

Tobi's Date

• Parent sex question: Paige chose kill parents over eat dog
• Tobi disagreed, said he'd eat dog instead
• Discussed cheating and lying as worst behaviors
• Paige emphasized loyalty and truth-telling
• Toe infection mentioned again

JJ's Date

• Asked about twerking immediately
• JJ did worm dance, Paige did slut drop in return
• Good energy and connection
• Discussed dancing and moved well together

Vick's Date

• Mentioned being voted worst on previous two dates
• Asked not to be voted last
• Brief interaction, seemed rushed

Paige's Verdict

• Favorite: JJ (for doing the worm, funny and confident)
• Also liked: Tobi (sweet, friend-zone sweet), Ethan (good banter)
• Least favorite: Harry (very nervous, unmemorable)
• Would set friend up with: Ethan

Second Girl - Kelly (Dancer from Dubai)

Harry's Date

• Brought champagne, tried to be smoother
• Immediately threw up after drinking
• Left date early due to illness
• Extremely brief interaction

Simon's Date

• Kelly recognized JJ as KSI, fan of his boxing
• Predicted JJ would beat Logan Paul
• Sexual questions from cards: shit on chest, bestiality
• Simon avoided explicit cards, tried normal conversation
• Discussed drawing as hobby
• Porn category question: Simon said "facial"
• Kelly claimed no porn experience
• Rated Simon 11/10
• Age discussion revealed Kelly might be underage for Brexit vote

Josh's Date

• Discussed pets - Kelly's family not pet people
• Invisibility question: Josh said he'd "sneak around and watch"
• iPhone discussion - Kelly has new iPhone with "three things" (cameras)
• Josh implied she's rich, Kelly denied
• Sex toy questions - Kelly said no to everything
• Parent/pet question: Kelly chose eat pet (easier since no pets)
• Josh made joke about dog named Cookie being "eaten like one"

Ethan's Date

• Phone sex discussion - Ethan had experience, Kelly didn't
• Public sex question - Ethan admitted to it
• Brexit vote: Kelly too young to vote initially
• Water sports question - Ethan explained sexual meaning
• Kelly shared whale shark phobia story from Mexico
• Father works in oil industry (implied wealth)
• Parent sex question: Ethan chose join in once, Kelly chose watch daily
• Ethan made inappropriate ISIS beheading comparison

Tobi's Date

• Nose picking question - both denied
• Nude sending: Tobi admitted sending fake penis photos to friends
• Kelly maintained innocence on most sexual topics

JJ's Date

• Strong connection, Kelly was fan
• Boxing discussion, Kelly supported JJ over Logan Paul
• Good chemistry and conversation flow

Vick's Date

• Kelly called him "Vicky"
• Height comment about Vick being short
• Mixed up his name

Kelly's Verdict

• Favorite: Tobi (nice and sweet personality match)
• Least favorite: Harry (shy, bad at dating, left early)
• Would set friend up with: Vick (called him "Vicky", nice and down to earth)
• Commented on Vick's height being potentially too short

Third Girl - Emily (South African, Musical Theatre Dancer)

Harry's Date

• Discussed music preferences - Emily had none
• iPhone vs Android discussion - both prefer iPhone
• Emily does musical theatre dance
• Dog story: Harry's dog Toffee went aggressive, had to be put down
• Parent sex question: both chose watch daily
• More relaxed conversation

Simon's Date

• Gender swap question: Simon said have sex with guy, Emily agreed
• Discussed being gay/bisexual casually
• Emily mentioned being private person
• Bondage interest expressed by Simon

Josh's Date

• Discussed ex-wife leaving him recently
• Emily from South Africa, Josh from less glamorous location
• Weirdest date: both said this one
• Josh only second person he'd dated
• Ghosting discussion - both admitted to it
• Bestiality question handled awkwardly
• Airplane sex story from Emily
• Uncle's house sex story from Josh

Ethan's Date

• Magic performance opening - broke glasses twice
• Brought strawberry and flower
• Champagne drinking from bottle
• Asked for phone number immediately
• Emily declined due to poor magic performance
• Ethan choked on champagne, ended date coughing

Tobi's Date

• Discussed spare time activities
• Emily mentioned going out drinking with friends
• Tobi joked about fighting
• Animal killing joke fell flat
• Rated 1/10 for the animal comment
• Ex-wife jokes continued

JJ's Date

• Asked "Do you think I'm fit?"
• Emily said no directly
• JJ ended date immediately: "Fuck you Emily"
• Bruised ego moment

Vick's Date

• Recovering alcoholic mention
• South Africa origin discussion
• Revenge against boys concept
• Wife leaving backstory
• Animalistic bedroom behavior discussion
• Role-play teacher scenario
• Ugandan Knuckles meme reference went poorly

Emily's Verdict

• Favorite: Ethan (entertaining, funny despite bad magic)
• Least favorite: JJ (too forward asking if he's fit immediately)
• Would set friend up with: Harry (despite banana incident, seemed normal)
• Hottest: Ethan