Early Language Formation in Colombia

• Speaker's education in language poetics began 5 PM Saturdays at Amaya wella's dining room
• Table full of loud, unstoppable women: 5 aunts + mom's 5 aunts
• Women smoking, some in bras, some in rulers, complaining about:
  • Ineptitude of husbands
  • Rising grocery store prices
• Each woman narrated similar experiences with unique storytelling approaches:
  • Grand gestures, pointing with mouths
  • Made up words
  • Yelling, crying
  • Different word choices, rhythms, tunes
• Mom complained silently - shaking head, sighing
• Great aunt: "Diosito what is wrong with this man" (pointing at God)
• Family from Colombian coast - region known for:
  • Magnificent storytellers
  • Grand words
  • Made-up words as norm
  • Music and rhythm essential to speaking
• Speaker inherited creative tongue from aunts
• In Colombia: loud, energized, wouldn't shut up, made up words

Language Hierarchy Encounter in Miami

• Age 15, moved to Miami - all energy/love for language disappeared
• First encounter with language hierarchy in English class reading Romeo and Juliet
• Begged not to be called to read Juliet's part (long, didn't know words)
• Teacher threatened participation point loss for refusal
• Tried to push tongue in impossible ways, butchered all words
• Everyone laughed, teacher stood silently
• Clenched desk, wanted to disappear, wished to be invisible
• Told mom wouldn't return to school
• Laughter/ridicule created deep fear and anxiety
• Realized speaking differently was "wrong"
• Couldn't access excited part of self about language
• Accent, invented words, pronunciation deemed wrong
• Said "son's giving" instead of "Thanksgiving"
• Mixed both languages: "child give me the Trap monster chances"
• Stayed up late practicing pronunciation
• Kids continued making fun
• Hated self for not fitting in
• Didn't realize hierarchy much bigger at play
• Felt personally wrong

Systemic Language Correction and Shaming

• Not only speaker being corrected/laughed at
• Teachers corrected peers, usually non-white students
• Shaming immigrant kids for saying:
  • "Quora" instead of "quarter"
  • Other mispronunciations
• All crossing invisible language boundary
• Boundary policed by teachers, maintained by student laughter

Language Circle Theory

• Language viewed as closed circle with English speakers inside
• Correct English elevated at center
• Other languages outside circle
• English with accent/improper grammar inside circle but not correct, not center
• Both language and speakers pushed to margins
• Closed circle with solid center excludes:
  • Many people
  • Many ways of speaking
  • Ways of making sense of world
• Creates language hierarchy

Personal Impact of Language Hierarchy

• Learned hierarchy isolates people through:
  • Condescension of cashiers when mom mispronounced
  • Mother shrinking at every joke about mispronunciation
  • Eventually stopped speaking English altogether, sat quietly in shame
• Mother in Colombia: confident, called managers/owners when coupons wouldn't scan
  • "This says two for one, Angelita says right here"
  • Hand on hips, negotiating, articulating like "homegirl got degree in bargaining"
  • "Discounts Queen" wouldn't leave until justice served
  • Proudly bragged to sisters over coffee
• Speaker walked alongside with warm, grounding feeling - "mom could take anyone"
• In US: sense of being valued human, deserving respect destroyed by ridicule/condescension

Societal Positioning and Gatekeeping

• Realized mom, sister, friends, self all close to bottom of hierarchy
• In margins of circle, therefore of society
• Couldn't reach center due to ethnic/cultural background
• Sat in shame because speaking wasn't "refined"
• Hierarchy permeates all spaces, acts as gatekeeper for resources/opportunities
• Not hired for jobs because couldn't speak "correct" English
  • Manager: "just worried customers won't understand you"
• Writing rejected from publications for mixing languages - seen as "less than, not pure"
• Ridiculed in academic workshops by white writers
• Made fun of Spanglish use out loud, questioned legitimacy as "real literature"
• Abilities as student, worker, value as human questioned/diminished

Beauty in Marginal Spaces

• Beauty and connection exists in marginal spaces
• For people in margins, language creates cohesion
• Different speaking is secret door only some have access to
• Door to "underworld of language freedom"

Esta Noche Gay Latino Bar Experience

• World began at former Esta Noche gay Latino bar, San Francisco
• 10 years ago moved to SF searching for "freak tribe"
• Found "queenas" (blend of Queen + Reina/Spanish for queen) in dingy bar on 16th Street
• Ironing wigs, filling bras
• Learned long history of LGBT people creating new words for own histories/realities
• Passion for language bloomed again

Queer Language Innovation

• Words: "fears perra sisi Marica come here Butch Papi"
• Spanglish blends with queer slang
• Drag queens center stage to crowd roar
• Unapologetic invention and creativity
• Not just mix of two languages but constructing/shaping new words for:
  • Own bodies
  • Own gender
  • Ways of coming together
• Don't have to be man/woman, gay/straight
• Categories for gender infinite, as are words to describe them
• "Language let her hair down"

Queer Space Atmosphere

• Gloria Trevi playing in background
• Drag queen introduced as "non-binary Fame that a mermaid of revolution"
• All snap fingers: "get it Mommy"
• Person with hot pink hair, "genderqueer cyborg" t-shirt
• Boys in crop tops yelling "yes" up and down, twirling on dance floor
• "Serve" someone says, "bring it" someone responds, "Essa wheel Roar"
• Wore glitter on bodies and language
• Felt seen, realities took up space
• Experienced sense of belonging
• Felt alone but connected
• Added magic and possibility to world
• Made it less boring, more inviting

Language Wardrobe Concept

• Everyone has different "language wardrobe" depending on:
  • Background
  • Ethnicity
  • Access to education
  • Immigration status
  • Places of origin
• Borrowed words from parents, friends show belonging to circles
• Place of growth shows up in accent, punctuation, vowel usage
• Most glittery, creative language wardrobes often stigmatized or seen as spectacles

Vision for Language Inclusivity

• What if alongside everyday language wardrobe, also allowed:
  • Freaky, weird ones we don't understand
  • World would be more interesting
  • Notion of humanity would expand
• Different ways of using language, mixing English with others, making up words as manifestations of creative brilliance
• People inventing, creating, mixing
• See English and Spanish not as mutually exclusive but as open circles touching
• Imagine:
  • Legislation written in Spanglish
  • Traffic signs in queer slang
  • Textbooks teaching words like "genderqueer" and "queena"
• Playfulness would seep into lives, lighten worlds
• Treat each other better
• Daily interactions kinder, less uncomfortable/fearful around different speakers
• Less isolating/damaging for those on margins

Call to Action

• Suspend idea of "correct" way of speaking/using language
• Allow rhythms, "incorrect" words from margins to rise up
• Listen, recognize glitter in each other's speaking
• Activate curious kid at dining table in awe of language
• Child listening to aunts drop "their eye my goodness," "aha baby kampaka"
• Endless possibility to bring surprise and magic through language
• Dance with language
• Tune into ways each person speaks, makes sense of world